Contact me

You can contact me at the Family Separation Clinic for appointments, consultations, discussions and further information.  We offer coaching by Skype to parents all over the world as well as a range of support services to families in the UK.

A wide range of resources and help for families where children are affected by alienation and related behaviour can also be found at the Family Separation Clinic 

Media enquiries should be made to office@familyseparationclinic.co.uk

 

12 thoughts on “Contact me

  1. Nigel J Ritchie (Swansea) says:

    Karen i have just reviewed your article most interesting! sadly I am going through this at present after a loving relationship with my children I have not seen my son for 3 years he is 17 and my daughter for a year she is now 9.
    I have spent nearly 20k in the courts to no avail. My ex wife is the source of the parental alienation of my children towards me. Up until 2007 I had a full active life in bringing up my children. Your work has certainly made me sit up – well done

  2. Rhys Gwynn says:

    This is a world apart from the attitude I encountered in court. Whilst agreeing wholeheartedly that the focus should be on the helping the child to cope with changed circumstances, the unpalatable reality is that the alienation does not just happen, it is more often pushed along by the would be resident parent. Courts seem reluctant to consider the deliberate misleading of a child to be a form of abuse even though the potentially severe outcomes noted in the video are well known, and regularly appear to forget that emotional abuse in law, even if not so obvious and more difficult to prove, is there on a par with physical abuse.

    What many parents know is that the ease with which the other parent can relocate merely facilitates the chances to further the alienation, either purposefully (aided often by the appalling inequality in state support to both parents) or by dint of cutting the other parent out of the child’s life to such an extent as to make that parent increasingly irrelevant to it. The law on relocation seems unacceptably confused with precedents being picked, depending entirely on a judge’s whims. It is rarely discussed properly. My MP, who sits on the Justice Select Committee which carried out the pre-legislative examination of the Children and Families Bill, appears to think that it is acceptable for the mother to relocate with the child if she claims (but does not need to prove) that she is seeking work, claims (but does not need to prove) that she wants family support or claims (but does not need to prove) to have found a better school, even if this is contrary to the child’s wishes or when there is no paternal abuse, or no existing educational deficiency and regardless of the impact of such instant distancing on the father child relationship. Expecting one parent, substantially cut out of a child’s life by the underhand tactics of the other, to somehow conquer the frequent depression that results, cope with extensive travelling at great cost and physical strain, retain a meaningful relationship with the child and reach some parenting agreement with the parent who has manufactured the alienation in the first place, is a very tall order. I wonder how you advise parents in such circumstances.

  3. LJ says:

    I think you are amazing, why can’t there be more of you. I started following you because I have one of the most amazing friends. She made a silly mistake nearlly three years ago. She lost everything, main thing being her son. Despite all she picked herself up and survives every day. The dad has done everything he can to stop their son wanting to see the mum. She hits a brick wall every day because of him. She regually receives hope from the legal system and child specialists. But It always ends the same and she can’t see her son. How can a child being washed fool so many professionals. You are her hope and inspiration.

  4. Robyn kliger says:

    I need advice ASAP.

    Thanks.
    Dr Robyn Kliger

  5. Marcia says:

    Dear Karen,
    I live on the fine line between estrangement and alienation.

    I would learn much if you could post your thoughts on how an estranged parent should attempt to reconnect with their child and how an aliented parent should attempt the same. I am curious about the overlap in action by the parent that is pushed out of their child’s life – for whatever reason.

    I have made some mistakes in parenting my middle-school child which might have lead to estrangement. I do have evidence of alientating behavior by his other parent. (I am an American, and middle school is our 6th through 8th grade or about 11 to 14 years old.) I am the mother. Until June 2014, I was the residential – custodial – parent.

    In December 2013, when my relationship with my child was disintegrating before my eyes, my therapist asked if she could have a session with my child. The end result of their interview was that my child met over half of Dr. Gardner’s benchmarks for alienation. I reacted with fear. I had told my child and the father that my child could move to the father’s home following the Christmas holiday. I changed my mind. My child returned to me in January – and would have nothing to do with me – no meals, no movies, no playing – nothing. Hence – I live on the fine line between estrangement and alienation. Since January, I continue to have concrete evidence of alientation by the father and step-mother.

    My child suffered and did not thrive in my home. I was boxed into the corner by the other adults and my state and county’s reluctance to litigate alienation. I agreed for my child to live with the father. My child would at least be where he wanted to be and might find happiness and relief from the severe hatred that my child demonstrated toward me.

    “Done is done.” I can’t change the past. I cannot undo that tipping point where my child felt betrayed by my changing my mind because I was betrayed by the father.

    I have learned much from your blog. I bet that I am not the only parent living on this fine line. Many of us want to learn how to walk down the road of reunification as an estranged-alientated parent. What do we do that’s the same and what do we do if we are only one of the above?

  6. Hello Karen,

    I got your address with Tony UPTON of PARITY. Our SOS PAPA association wants to work with several European partners on the project Save the Planet father. If this interests you, thank you for contacting me and may be soon.
    I present our association and the project:

    Our association is fruitful in creating devices that meet the unmet needs of young people and adults faced with complex family issues, painful and traumatic. We have chosen to wear the focal three of them because of the importance of public and welcomed the recognition given by major institutions (including the Fondation de France) and patrons from the world of business.

    Place of performance of activities: many intervention sites scattered over the North, Pas de Calais and Picardie

    Save the planet father ! ! !
    Our project : Studying the different manifestations of despair consecutive to dispersal of the family* and especially children (rupture, separation, lost) on fathers in order to develop a database of indicators accessible for all participating countries with the intentions to suggest secondly the design and adaptation of the techniques therapeutic , apt to stem possible risk-taking behavior ( alcoholism, chronic depression, phobia judicial decisions … ) characterizing pathological behavior or resulting by an inadequate decision-making process. The presence of factors such as psychological fatigue and anxiety perceived as emotional phenomena known to prevaricate the cognitive process, are understood as being able to promoting risk taking. In the exam the data collected by our association “Sos papa Nord Picardie” as part of an empirical step of identification of the life course to our members, it seems desirable to equipped the evaluation using an heuristic framework scientifically validated in order to identify factors influencing risk-taking, and to determine the factors who encouraged and then to deploy a set of therapeutic workshops which have preventive virtues .
    It seems to us fundamental to broaden the spectrum of the reflection in considering all the problems including suicide. Counting the dead is practiced very well with the contribution of observatories dedicated to the issue of suicide. However, a state of the art on the matter of suicide conducted thoroughly on all institutional sources of the territory reveals an interpretation for the less monolithic for the difficulties proven by men with respect to the work. Develop in this way the eventual troubles of the employability of fathers in situation of decompensation, returns to properly remove the emotional dimension of the individual father. More than promoting psychological autopsy as a single response, our project will focus by the rigor of its study to stem institutional discrimination embodied here by the denial of masculine sensitivity in all compartments of human existence (besides work) .
    Beyond the speculative aspect of the approach, a circularity of glances between professionals and associative activists (care, justice, social work) neighboring countries must allow us to identify together knowledge conducive to well-being and elaborate then a common repository on strategies of supported upstream (suffering’s indicators) and downstream (taking into account the individual father ,into a human acceptance in the course of preventive care and remedial ).
    God saves LAZY students English lessons hum hum …

    dominique

  7. annonymous says:

    Hi Karen:
    I just discovered your blog today. I am an alienated parent and still have some contact with one of my kids. Your two blogs about Empathic response and Sowing Seeds of Doubt were of particular interest to me. However, I am wondering if there were any additional articles which followed the “seeds of Doubt”? It seemed like we only got as far as preparing the ground. Could you please let me know. Thank you so much.

  8. private says:

    Karen
    I have unwillingly been alienated from my daughter since she was 2-1/2 years old. I have lived just as the first 8 paragraphs of your article “Reuniting with your alienated child – a spring message of hope” on 12/04/2013 with my daughter now being near the same age as the oldest of the three in your article (mid-20’s yr. old)

    Five years ago I made first contact with her which resulted in her total rejection of this since her mother was extremely upset when she found out. I accepted that the set up a Facebook website in the hopes she would contact me. Two years ago she tried several times to contact me (just only asking for my email) and I responded to each attempt (although it was months later since I rarely visited Facebook). The main problem was I was never sure it was her (she used a different spelling of her name which I had tried to attempt contact at many FB websites with different spellings of her name, so a was cautious about giving out my email to potential spammers).

    Last November, she sent the correct spelling of her name, which is not common; since then we have been in contact by email on about a weekly basis learning about each other. Over the past 25 years, I have attempted to send her a Christmas and Birthday card; knowing she was not receiving them, I would send a copy to myself knowing one day she would contact me and I could send her those to show I never forgot about her. I sent these cards to her last week and letting her know I would like to meet, she has said one day she would like to meet also, but still trying to figure things out.

    I know not to try to force anything and your article spoke of allowing time which I find I have to keep my anxiety in check in anticipating our relationship. Another article I read stated an alienated parent reuniting with their child was like watching a movie run backwards including the amount of time the alienation took was close to the time it took to heal their relationship, although they had only been separated less than 10 years.

    Have you articles or suggestions on how I should proceed with establishing my father/daughter relationship?

  9. sammy potts says:

    Dear Karen,
    Morning hope your day is treating you well,sorry but I was wondering after reading some of the work you do on such topics and the depth of consideration that is applied,I was wondering your views on children sibling separation,and the effects of this resulting in feeling of punished or alienated please where its a three way bias/unbais on parent and child when children start to immunise themselves towards there situation of isolation or abandonment.And become comforted without parent/brother or sister.
    And also if you and your team what degree is this safeguarded in frameworks used in professional work like childrens services or enviroments such as foster placements.
    warm regards

  10. Dannette says:

    Dear Karen,

    I am bewildered by what I’ve read so far and praying the “HOPE” and success applies to my children and me also. When I got divorced from their dad 1993, I was blessed with being the custodial parent for 9 years. Towards the end of that time frame, things got difficult, I was constantly being put thru GAL investigations and I let them go live with him. The court said to give them acclimation time and family services would be in touch to arrange visitations – 2002. It’ been That never happened and it’s been 13 years. I don’t claim to be a perfect parent and understand I added to this outcome – are there any suggestions you can make to help a possible reconnection?

    Thank you – Dannette

  11. russell armstrong says:

    Hi Karen
    I have just posted this comment on the marylin stowe website with regard to research about the quality of time vs quantity of time a child spend with its parents. I just wondered what your thoughts were?

    “What is this kind of research aimed at?
    In life there are two kinds of separations with regard to children.
    One is that BOTH parents agree on the division of time the children will spend with each of them on a mutually respectful basis
    The other is that they cannot agree and resort to the Court system to determine the outcome.
    I have always wondered why some parents cannot agree on this division of time and have come to the conclusion its because one parent wants more than the other parent is prepared to “concede”
    (I hate using those terms but we must use some words to express the situation)
    So the ONLY parents who end up in the Court system could be described as follows.
    The “parent with care” refuses to agree to a division of time for the child(ren) to see the other parent to the extent that the other parent is motivated enough to seek a judicial determination.
    That’s it, case closed, no other condition exists that will lead to this outcome.
    Thus, once in the court system, the “feminists'” of this world have striven to ensure that by any means necessary that the judiciary determine the outcome as much in favour of the woman (normally the parent with care) as possible. And they use all kind of arguments (false or otherwise) to help in that result.
    In that regard this type of research is a smokescreen for the argument that the woman (parent with care) should have the majority of time because “that is in the best interest of the child” and that the other parent (normally the father) should be happy with less time because then he can have focused “quality time” with the child(ren)
    I say what a crock, the child(ren) experiencing as normal a family life with BOTH parents separately should be the best possible outcome.
    Normal life at mothers home
    Normal life at Fathers home
    And both of those require quality of care and quality of time
    The child(ren) should as far as possible have the benefit of knowing the cycle of life, routine and differing values that each parent can bring to his/her life and that can only be achieved with TIME.
    Normal wake up weekends & school days/play/homework routines etc can only be truly experienced by TIME at each parents home preferably a mix between 5/9 and 7/7 depending on how each parent can effectively show that they will have a reasonable and planned routine for the time they have with the care of their child(ren)
    Local authorities have to produce a care plan why not the parents??????”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 407 other followers